The ability to read is a trait that is highly coveted among females in search of a mate. It’s called evolution, look it up.
Yes, I’m wearing a Superman shirt in my fifth picture. No, I do not want to discuss my favorite Superman story arc with you. I haven’t even seen Man of Steel. It was just a Halloween costume.
If I wanted to be the one to make the first move, we’d be on Bumble rn and this article would be moot.
Odds are my plans are more fun than yours, and what betch doesn’t like talking about herself? I mean, that’s basically the tag line of this site. Plus if you tell me what you’re doing I can automatically rule out one place I will not be going. Unless you’re going to buy a round for me and all my friends. Then maybe we can talk.
Struggling to come up with an online dating first message that will get a response? Turns out, most men fear writing that first message, so you’re not alone.
The good news is we’ve got you covered with 5 online dating first message strategies (with copy-and-paste examples to get you started).
Use their name.
Research shows people really like hearing (or reading) their name. A general rule of thumb for an online dating first message is if you can organically and naturally work their name in, you should.
Ask a question.
You’re much more likely to get a response from your match if your online dating first message asks a fun or unusual question. This will pull your match out of auto pilot swiping mode and switch her attention to you. Jumping right into a specific convo shows experience chatting up women.
An open-ended question like “What kind of things are you into?” is kinda boring to answer, and forces your match to steer the direction the convo will go in.
You: Peanuts or almonds? Cait: Almonds 100%. I’m actually allergic to peanuts! You: Oh shoot…so you’re telling me Reeses aren’t a part of your life? ?? Cait: Haha no unfortunately ??????
You: Jon Snow or Khal Drogo? Leanna: Asking the right questions Leanna: And the impossible ones Leanna: God, I guess I’d have to go with Khal Drogo. Less broody…and pale.
Online Dating First Message #2: Last Thing
It’s deceivingly simple to ask the last thing your match did as your online dating first message, but it’s a super effective strategy. This is the kind of question a friend would ask, so you are starting things off intimately without coming off as creepy.
The “last thing” could be anything – last book she read, last podcast she listened to, last cool restaurant she went to … the list is endless, and easy to tailor to an interest she mentions in her bio.
You: Hi, Madeline. What’s the last trip/vaca you’ve taken? Madeline: Hey! I went to L.A. last month, and it was pretty great You: Awesome! What kind of stuff did you do there? Madeline: I was only there a weekend, but I checked out Malibu, Calabasas, and Echo Park area mostly.
You: Last movie you went to see in the theater? Casey: Hey! Captain Marvel! You: Ah, I saw that last weekend! What did you think? Casey: I felt like the beginning was a little slow, but I liked it overall
Online Dating First Message #3: Dinner Guest
Asking your match who inspires her is a really good way to get to know someone. Just be ready for her to turn around and ask who you’d want to have dinner with too.